You are Perfect

Nobody is perfect You are perfect

YOU are perfect!! Yes, you reading this.

Your immediate reaction is denial and maybe a hint of anger. You think I am joking.  BUT I’m not.

YOU are perfect, in your own unique way.

There is no one else quite like you on the planet. You are unique. Even if you have an identical twin there are still differences and you are still unique. You are perfect at being you, there is no one else like you on the planet.

You have got this far by being perfectly you, even though you still do not believe this statement.

Why we don’t believeNobody is perfect You are perfect

From childhood upwards, for many, approval from parents, siblings, wider family members, teachers, tutors, coaches etc depends on certain behaviours or achievements. Approval and praise is dealt out by how well we did in school and further education, from reports to exams and everything in between, to achievements at work and so on.

We are told to  seek perfection but also told that nobody is perfect. Where is the sense in that?

Social media doesn’t help as it can bring feelings of inadequacy when we see snippets of others lives that, convinced they live like that all the time.

An article about a picture shown on Instagram detailed how it was set up and arranged to look natural. It took over 2 hours to create that one ‘natural’ shot. It shows that what you see, may be a spur of the moment photo, but it may not. The thing to remember about social media, is that those pictures are a few seconds of their lives, not how they live all the time.

Self help

Self help and/or personal development is a massive industry now, that continues to grow rapidly.

From Webwire.com

  • Market Value…  Marketdata estimates that the self-improvement market in the U.S. alone, was worth $11.0 billion in 2018, versus $9.38 billion in 2016. The market grew about 18% in two years, fueled by growth in personal coaching services, self-help books and audiobooks, and weight loss programs. We expect the market to grow 5% in 2019 to $11.6 billion, and 4.8% per year, on average, between 2019 and 2023, when the market should be worth $13.9 billion.

From Psychology today

        What Does “Self Help” Mean?

  • On the eve of each new year, people commit to making lifestyle changes they believe will usher in personal satisfaction and happiness. But while an entire industry exists to help people meet these pressing goals, most individuals still flounder. How many times can we try to lose weight, quit smoking, cut back on alcohol consumption, or try to find a more suitable purpose in life? One answer: As many times as it takes to get it right.
  • Lasting change is difficult to achieve because many of our habits are deeply ingrained, and certain core personality attributes may be immutable. But all habits and character traits can be altered to varying degrees. It’s never too late to change and with effort and determination, it is possible to be the person you want to be, or at least someone closer to it.

Pandemic effects

I would think that at this time with the Covid-19 pandemic the industry would be growing even faster with so many countries in Lockdown. It is a difficult time with the restrictions, only allowed to exercise once a day or in some countries, not allowed out at all.

For those that have a garden it is easier as you can at least exercise or sit and relax outside in the fresh air. If you have no access to green spaces it makes everything much worse. Being out in nature has been shown to help stress and anxiety.

From Mind website

  • How can nature benefit my mental health?meditation in nature

  • Spending time in green space or bringing nature into your everyday life can benefit both your mental and physical wellbeing. For example, doing things like growing food or flowers, exercising outdoors or being around animals can have lots of positive effects. It can:
  • improve your mood
  • reduce feelings of stress or anger
  • help you take time out and feel more relaxed
  • improve your physical health
  • improve your confidence and self-esteem
  • help you be more active
  • help you make new connections
  • provide peer support.

The effects of Lockdown has affected many people from those living alone to families. People are worried about the wider family and friends as well as immediate family.

Those living alone don’t have their usual support network or the ability to go out when the four walls get too much. The families are all at home together 24 hours a day which can be difficult. It’s tough home schooling and trying to work from home without the usual help being available.

So what’s that got to do with being Perfect?

Situations become more stressful because of the pressure we put upon ourselves.  We feel everything has to be perfect. Work, kids, home, relationship etc. There is no perfect in any of that, everyone just muddles through as best they can.

Those that appear to have a perfect life with everything under control, really don’t. They are just better at hiding it or they have a lot of help.

Perfection really doesn’t exist, there is no standard for it. I believe it is in the eye of the beholder. One person will look at a view and declare it perfect. Another will glance at it and see something completely different.

Conclusionperfection is stagnation

Don’t try to be perfect because it doesn’t exist. Just be perfect, in your own unique way.  Don’t have plastic surgery and go on extreme diets to look perfect and don’t spend a fortune on clothes and accessories to try and appear perfect.

Just be YOU. Perfect exactly as you are. Be happy in the knowledge that no one else in the entire world can be as perfect at being you as you do.

Believe in yourself.

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The Power of Positive Thought

The power of positive thought

The Damaging Negativity

Most of us will answer “I don’t mind” to a vast array of questions. From what we want for dinner/lunch,breakfast to suggestions of things to do and places to go and even on what to watch on TV.I dont know in letters
At times we do think first and still say ‘I don’t mind’ because we think it’s a nicer response when asked a question.

Rather than forcing everyone to do what we want, we instead pretend that we don’t have an opinion in order to keep everyone else happy.
Now that seems nice but can end up making you feel resentful, having to do things you really don’t want to do.

We all have the power of positive thought but we have to make a conscious effort to use it rather than responding automatically.

The Mayo Clinic website says:

  • Positive thinking doesn’t mean that you keep your head in the sand and ignore life’s less pleasant situations. Positive thinking just means that you approach unpleasantness in a more positive and productive way. You think the best is going to happen, not the worst.
  • Positive thinking often starts with self-talk. Self-talk is the endless stream of unspoken thoughts that run through your head. These automatic thoughts can be positive or negative. Some of your self-talk comes from logic and reason. Other self-talk may arise from misconceptions that you create because of lack of information.
  • If the thoughts that run through your head are mostly negative, your outlook on life is more likely pessimistic. If your thoughts are mostly positive, you’re likely an optimist — someone who practices positive thinking.

Responsibility

Sometimes you can’t decide what to do for best and prefer to avoid the responsibility of making the wrong choice, so you say ‘I don’t mind’, giving someone else the job of making that decision.
The trouble with this is there’s a very real chance that everyone will say they don’t mind, which then slows things down because no one wants to make a decision.
Another danger is that you end up seeming disinterested as though you really don’t care enough to give an answer. That can be annoying when someone is offering you a drink or refreshments, for example, as either you get nothing or something you don’t like.
Sometimes the other person will then give their opinion and you end up doing what they want instead. This can lead to resentment as you can feel as though you never get to do what you want.

Others can also find it irritating having to always make the decisions.

Speaking Your MindIts all in your head, Use the power of positive thought.

‘I don’t mind’ is essentially basically conflict avoidance of discussions and can make you look completely incapable of making decisions.
And the daft part is that there’s actually nothing impolite about speaking your mind and saying what you’d prefer.

Make sure you make it clear that you are open to others opinions too. Instead of ‘I don’t mind’, try: ‘I’d prefer we had the lasagne tonight but I’m open to other options’. See, that doesn’t seem so difficult, does it?

Whether you want to be more positive or stay more negative, it’s a choice you make. Use your mind to be more positive.

The Law of Attraction can Transform Your Life & Beliefs

Many of us want our lives to change, but we don’t know how to do anything about it. We assume that our lives will change of their own accord and that we will then change as a result. Then hope we will feel happier and more confident because of it.
What many don’t realise is that more often than not, this actually works the other way around.

That by acting the way we want to feel, we end up feeling that way and then our life ends up changing too! This is what we call the “law of attraction.”

How it Works

Want to be more successful? Start using the power of positive thought to make the changes you want.

Start acting like you’re already successful. Then people start treating you as more successful and they give you more opportunities. So then you become ‘luckier’.lucky four leaf clover

It’s not chance or a symbol you carry, like a four leaf clover, it’s the more positive mindset, that draws those opportunities to you.
Want to be richer? Act richer. Want to do better at work? Believe you can. Want to be smarter? Act smarter.
This is closely related to what are known as ‘self-fulfilling prophecies’. These are situations where you actually change your behavior in line with your beliefs. A great example is what’s known as a ‘scotoma’ or a ‘blind spot’.
Ever lost your phone and searched for it for hours only to have a friend come up and find it in seconds? That’s a scotoma in action – you have convinced yourself that the item is lost and this belief literally prevents you from finding that item.
The same can happen in our careers or love lives. If you tell yourself you’re a failure then your unconscious mind will actually sabotage your success in those areas.

Those beliefs are or become limiting beliefs, once fixed in the subconscious, they operate to protect you.

What can you do?

To be as successful as you can be in any capacity, you need to eliminate doubt. Does that seem overly simple? It is but it’s also hard to do as we tend to self sabotage without even realising it.
For example, if you believe you are no good at your job, you might find yourself slouching, not speaking up in meetings and trying to hide from taking on additional responsibility, it’s quite normal behaviour for that belief.
But as a result of course, you will find that people don’t believe you have what it takes to get a promotion at all. If you don’t act the part, you don’t get the part.
The same thing happens in dating. If you think you’re bad looking, you won’t approach attractive members of the opposite sex because you are convinced they are out of your league. So you don’t dress to impress, thereby aiding you in this impression. You very likely avoid eye contact and give the impression of lack of confidence. All helping to make this a self fulfilling prophecy.

To break the cycle, start by changing your thoughts. You are worth the best that life has to offer, the promotion, the best dates. Tell yourself that over and over until the thought is second nature.

The start behavinging like you believe in yourself. That means dressing better, taking risks and being more assertive. You’ll find you attract more positive attention and that this can lead to better results as well as improving the way you think about yourself.

Take positive steps

Here’s a unique concept that can help you to become the best version of yourself possible:
Have a celebration!
This is about saying goodbye to old negative habits, the old version of you and welcoming the new person you have become. Make it a celebration of stepping into your new life.

Decide you are going to be the best version of yourself, walk tall, head high and look people in the eye with a smile. Maybe you will start out quaking in your shoes but within a very short time it will be a habit and your confidence will grow.

The more you check the negative thoughts and replace them with positive thoughts, the better your life will become.

Step into your future with confidence.

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Surviving the Lockdown

lockdown

Everyone is in the same boat pretty much. We are confined to our homes, surviving the lockdown, to slow the spread of corona virus or COVID-19 as it is called.

So what to do?

You can either constantly complain and be negative and miserable the whole time or start seeing it as a positive thing.

What do you meanThe key to happiness. Surviving the Lockdown

Do you really want to spend weeks, maybe months being miserable? Of course not.

I am sure you would rather be happy.

Why not see this as an opportunity to do lots of things that you never get time to do. All those books you thought of reading but there was other stuff needing to be done.

How about those crafts you fancied trying but never had the time.

What about the times you have seen things about meditation, looked and it wistfully and then moved on?

Yoga. Fancy trying yoga? Gentle movements that can do you good. Exercise is important to how you feel.

Live alone? Then go online and look for groups in your area with similar interests.

Living with family? I bet you aren’t all used to be in the same place at the same time. This is a good chance to reconnect.

Readingmagical book

If you haven’t ever been much of a reader it’s worth putting your interests in to google along with ‘books’ to see what comes up. With time on your hands, its a chance to learn new things or lose yourself in fiction. There are plenty of free books you can download. Just get a kindle or ebook reader app connect it to an Amazon or other account and you can download them.

Books can be magical transporting you to different times and places, real and imagined. Even different planets, galaxies or dimensions.

They can make the imagination soar.

Non fiction, like biographies, can give you a peek into others lives and how they came to do what they do and become. Travel books can take you away to exotic locations and may have you planning to travel more.

If you are a reader, the chances are you have many books, real and digital waiting to be read. If you read mostly fiction, try stepping out of your comfort zone and get a non fiction book on something that interests you. So many books and so little time.

Then of course there are blogs. Thousands, millions of blogs on every subject you can think of ….. well most subjects. Not as long as a book of course, a shorter but interesting read. You can flit from one to another discovering favourites to go back to later.

Craftscrafts

Then there are crafts. Ever had a creative urge? Seen various crafts and just wanted a go? Maybe watched your mother or grandmother? I learnt to knit from my grandmother, crochet I taught myself from a little booklet which I still have. Since then I have painted pictures, done needle felting pictures and animals. tried jewellery making and creating handmade books. I discovered what was fun to have a go at and what was something I really wanted to do which was digital art.

You could even end up with a business like me. Funnily enough it started with forced rest when I was ill for a bit.  I just can’t do nothing so I went back to my crochet and made blankets, then added scarves. Trouble was, I soon had quite a pile of them. My daughter suggested I sell online, so I had a look and went from there. That was 10 years ago now. 5 years into my business I was made redundant from work, I gave myself 8 months to make a proper go of it and earn enough to replace my job  or I would be getting another job. Never looked back.

Its surprising the turns life can take just from trying something new. Go online and have a look, see what appeals, there are lots of craft kits available.

Etsy, Folksy and Not on The High Street are the main ones. Lots do pop up and disappear but those 3 have been going since well before I started my online adventure. Of course there is Hobbycraft too.

Meditation

Meditation is a wonderful practice, it is excellent for mental and physical health, plus general wellbeing. meditation

Don’t listen to so called guru’s who tell you that its best to meditate for hours, that is nonsense. You don’t have to sit cross legged, being uncomfortable is counter productive anyway.

So many people say they can’t meditate, they tried and can’t stop thinking about stuff. Blanking your mind takes a lot of practice and some never achieve that. You learn to observe the thoughts and let them go.  Or you just sit and daydream, thats a kind of meditation in itself.

Have you ever been for a walk and your mind drifted, not really thinking about anything in particular, just enjoying the day and the moment? That too is a kind of meditation. Still think you can’t do it? You probably do it more often than you realise.

Many doctors are advocates of meditation. In some countries children are taught to meditate and from then on start their school day with a period of meditation as they believe it makes the children, calmer,  concentrate better and be more focused.

Yoga

Yoga is a group of physical, mental, and spiritual practices or disciplines which originated in ancient India. They are slow movements into positions that are then held for a time while focusing on the breath. These are specific movements and poses that will gradually tone and strengthen.

Again, this is something doctors advocate nowadays because of the overall benefits. As you can see, there is also information about it on the government NHS website.

From the NHS website. Read the article HERE!

What is yoga?yoga

  • Yoga is an ancient form of exercise that focuses on strength, flexibility and breathing to boost physical and mental wellbeing. The main components of yoga are postures (a series of movements designed to increase strength and flexibility) and breathing.
  • The practice originated in India about 5,000 years ago and has been adapted in other countries in a variety of ways. Yoga is now commonplace in leisure centres, health clubs, schools, hospitals and surgeries.

From the BBC website. Go HERE to access the video.

Coronavirus: Simple yoga poses to help home workers

  • Much like thousands people across the country right now, BBC reporter Emily Ford is working from her home.
  • While she’s used to producing stories every day, she is also a qualified yoga teacher.
  • Here, Emily shares a few tips and tricks on how to stay energised during the coming months with some simple stretches and breathing exercises.

Living alone

It’s not easy to be living alone and confined to your home. If you tend to feel anxiety the forced confinement can make it worse. It is very easy forthoughts to spiral out of control especially if you watch the news and programmes about the corona virus.

It seems to me that most focus on the increasing numbers getting the virus and the number of deaths worldwide. It’s very rarely mentioned that there are very large numbers of people that had the virus and recovered.

Keep in touch with family and friends. Talk to them on the phone and Facetime where possible. It’s good to talk but even better to chat when you can see them, it makes the person feel closer somehow.

If you can research local groups in your area with similar interests to you and join any that interest you. They will probably have an online space to chat while the lockdown is in progress. Contact with others is good and very important. You may find that when this is all over you have made new friends to pursue interests with.

If you are generally out a lot you could look at this as a good time to catch up on reading or start a new hobby.

Have some exercise each day, a walk, an online yoga or other exercise class. Try a meditation class too.

It can also be therapeutic to clear out things no longer used or needed.

 

Living with family

This is your chance to get off your phones and have real conversations. Sit round a table and discuss things. Talk about worries and fears about the situation, sharing makes it easier. Discuss likes and dislikes. Why not share hopes and dreams?

Have meals together, it’s a time to share food and conversation.family meal

Go for walks together once a day. It’s good to have a change of scenery, plus the exercise and fresh air can be very therapeutic.

In ‘normal’ everyday life it seems that families occupied the same space, their home, but didn’t really connect much with each other. As they grew up each would spend more time in their own space than with others. Even eating was something done separately in each persons space.

Family is such an important support group that seems very under utilised nowadays.

What else can you do together? Play board games, card games and do a jigsaw puzzle. Find a hard one and make a start. You will find that most if not all the household will stop as they pass it to add a piece or two. It can be fun.

Gardening is very good for you. Once its tidy, plant some seeds, grow tomatoes and cucumbers, they don’t take up much space and if you have room plant other quick growing veggies. There are lots of gardening blogs with advice on all different types of gardens. It can be fun to plan something different for your outside space.

Got young  children? There are newly sprung up groups on facebook for parents to exchange ideas on amusing children.

Children get tired of the same toys after a while, or they just outgrow them. Look for an online group in your local area that swaps toys or puts them on a group for free. Those can be left outside the house and  collected.

My sister helps run such a group and its very popular. Its monitored so people dont try to sell items on it. It’s so that perfectly good items can be reused or recycled, rather than end up in landfill too soon. Helping yourself and the planet. Result!!

 

How are YOU Surviving the Lockdown?

There is a lot you can do to keep your spirits up during this time. The main thing is to stay positive if you can and see it as an opportunity to spend quality time with loved ones.

It’s also a chance to try things you never have time for in the normal course of your lives. It’s actually very good for you to slow down and relax more, learn to live life at a slower pace.

Children don’t need to be entertained every minute of the day. Its good for them to get bored occasionally as it encourages imagination and creativity. We need young ones to have imaginations, they are out innovators and inventors of tomorrow, just as the adults are today’s innovators and inventors.

Think of this as a sort of holiday. No you can’t go out and about but you can relax and go with the flow.

Remember …… nothing last forever, everything passes and this will too.


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Comments and questions welcome.

 

Why are Limiting Beliefs bad

Stop sign. What are limiting beliefs

Why are we interested or even want to know the answer to the question of why are Limiting Beliefs bad?

We are interested because of the way they can influence and impact upon our life now and future. The way they STOP us doing things we want to do especially reaching our goals in all areas of our life as well as work/business.

Limiting beliefs come about from things we have heard through our lives often from childhood. We tend to be more emotionally susceptible to the experiences that we have early on in life than we are later in life.

It’s often said that children are like sponges, absorbing all sorts of things that they hear and see as well as things they are taught.

Children pick up many things that become Core beliefs.

What is a Belief?

From Your Dictionary.

  1. the state of believing; conviction or acceptance that certain things are true or real
  2. faith, esp. religious faith
  3. trust or confidence: I have belief in his ability
  4. anything believed or accepted as true; esp., a creed, doctrine, or tenet
  5. an opinion; expectation; judgment: my belief is that he’ll come

From the Merriam Webster Dictionary.

  • 1a state or habit of mind in which trust or confidence is placed in some person or thing.
  • 2something that is accepted, considered to be true, or held as an opinion something believed.
  • 3conviction of the truth of some statement or the reality of some being or phenomenon especially when based on examination of evidence

And we learn this from Wikipeadia.

  • Belief is the attitude that something is the case or true. In epistemology, philosophers use the term “belief” to refer to personal attitudes associated with true or false ideas and concepts. However, “belief” does not require active introspection and circumspection. For example, few ponder whether the sun will rise, just assume it will.

What are Core beliefs?

Wikipeadia says:

Basic beliefs (also commonly called foundational beliefs or core beliefs) are, under the epistemological view called foundationalism, the axioms of a belief system.

Categories of beliefs

Foundationalism holds that all beliefs must be justified in order to be believed. Beliefs therefore fall into two categories:

  • Beliefs that are properly basic, in that they do not depend upon justification of other beliefs, but on something outside the realm of belief.
  • Beliefs that derive from one or more basic beliefs, and therefore depend on the basic beliefs for their validity.

 

This makes perfect sense. believe in yourself  Why are Limiting Beliefs badWe have foundation or core beliefs that come from our surroundings and the people in our young lives. These give out lives structure and a basis to grow into our world. Many are also in place to keep us safe from people and situations, even the outside world.

So those beliefs can also hold us back.

We can say positive statements/mantras, believe that we can become successful and have the perfect life. That we can reach lofty goals if we just work harder and faster, that belief in ourselves will win the day.

Then we feel that we are not doing enough or doing something wrong. After all there are plenty of others doing the same things and living that perfect life.

Are Core and Limiting Beliefs the same?

I believe that limiting beliefs are the core beliefs that hold us back in life. Those core beliefs don’t change and grow with us, they don’t adjust as our world changes and we change from child to adult.

Consider how many young adults vote the same way their parents did. Many follow the religion they are brought up in.

They don’t question these or others like them. Some will and some will be encouraged to be independant and make their own minds up. That is rare though. Most parents bring up their children the same way they were brought up.

From the blog Inc.com

  • You have core beliefs that guide the decisions you make. They affect how you interpret the events in your life and they influence the way you think, feel, and behave.
  • Your healthy beliefs serve you well. But, the unrealistic, self-limiting beliefs you hold onto–and everyone has some unhealthy beliefs–can hold you back from reaching your greatest potential.
  • It’s important to acknowledge your core beliefs and examine which ones might be inaccurate and unproductive. Then, you can take steps to let go of the beliefs that are limiting your potential.

The unhealthy beliefs can be about yourself, others or the world.

What makes them Limiting Beliefs?

They hold us up, keep us back in the slow lane, behind everyone else.10 kmh sign

From Changingminds.org

  • Limiting beliefs are those that constrain us in some way. Just by believing in them, we don’t think, do or say the things they inhibit. And in doing so we impoverish our lives.
  • We may have them about rights, duties, abilities, permissions and so on.
  • Limiting beliefs are often about ourselves and our self identity. They may also be about other people and the world in general.
  • Most of all, they limit us

Common Limiting Beliefs.

From MindShifts

  • 1. I’m too old
  • 2. I’m not smart enough
  • 3. I am not educated enough
  • 4. I’m afraid of trying and failing
  • 5. You have to have money to make money
  • 6. I’ve already tried everything
  • 7. I can’t do that
  • 8. I don’t feel I really deserve it
  • 9. I’ll never be able to do that
  • 10. All the good ones are taken

 

Any of those sound familiar? The first one can also be the opposite,  too young. Quite a few of those go under the very common one. “I’m not good enough”.  This one can impact all areas of your life, constantly holding you back.

There are the money based limiting beliefs. These can hold you back from reaching success as often you end up self sabotaging before you actually become successful.

Do You Want more out of life!

Do you? Have you tried over and over again to change your life, worked hard, 2 or even 3 jobs to try and get ahead?

Do you feel that something inexplicably stops you from having the life you want? Or do you wonder why success is always out of reach?

Do you want to do more with your life?

There are so many limiting beliefs stored in your subconscious mind, that were originally there to keep you safe. That was good when you were a child but now as an adult they can keep you from living the life you want. From reaching goals, to never quite attaining success, to choice of life partner and so on.

Conclusionexit sign

Limiting beliefs can hold you back in so many ways and can stop you from living a fulfilled and happy life.

It can affect the life partner you choose, the work you go for as well as you general views on life.

There are many people who start businesses, new jobs etc that always give up before they start to do really well at the job or the business starts to take off. Those around them tend to be baffled by it and wonder why. It’s not a deliberate attempt to sabotage themselves, it’s a subconscious move. If they become successful and then wealthy it will go against a long held belief or a set of beliefs.

The human potential is almost limitless, but having potential is not the same as actually doing something with it. Many never fulfill even a small part of that potential because of limiting beliefs they have no idea they have.

So the answer to why are Limiting Beliefs bad is that they can affect every area of your life. They can affect the choices you make and ultimately affect your happiness, without you ever realising why.

Did I answer this question of What are Limiting Beliefs?

Do you feel that something inexplicably stops you from having the life you want? Or do you wonder why success is always out of reach?

Do you want to do more with your life?

Maybe it’s time to get that life you want. Now that you know what’s holding you back, it’s time to take the steps to break free, to head for the exit and freedom to be who you really are.

My next post will be how to do that.

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Choices good or bad create your life

Choice

CHOICE!

Choices good or bad create your life which means the life you have now is because of all the choices you have made up to this point. Now that can be hard to take in, especially if you aren’t happy with the way your life is right now. Every choice you make impacts your life and changes it for good or bad. The smallest decision can make a difference. When you look back over decisions made in the past, even ones you didn’t really think much about, it makes you realise that in reality your life is created by your choices.

From Wikipedia:

  • Choice involves decision making. It can include judging the merits of multiple options and selecting one or more of them. One can make a choice between imagined options or between real options followed by the corresponding action.*

Every single day we make choices whether you realise it or not.

Many people believe that life happens to them so things that happen in their life, isn’t their fault. Do you? Or do you realise that your life is created by your choices?

What Choices do you make?

Do you take the route of doing nothing when there are choices to be made, believing that any consequences that occur are not your fault?  Well I don’t like to disillusion you but ……….. that too is a choice. You are choosing not to make a choice and therefore the consequences of that choice are your responsibility.

signpost. Choices good or bad create your life

As we go through life we make choices, even as children. Choosing friends, books to read, whether to work hard in school or not. Then at high school choosing the subjects to take for exams. Thinking about what direction to go in after school, university or straight into a job.

Every day we choose when to get up, what to eat, whether to exercise, turn up for the job/school/interview etc.

How much cleaning gets done, laundry, washing/hoovering floors, dusting/getting rid of cobwebs etc.

What to do to relax, read or watch TV, do something creative or the myriad of other choices we have.

Many of these choices are done automatically, we don’t think about them much at all, it’s just something we do as part of daily life.

What do You want from life?

If you have found your way here you are clearly looking for change. So do you have an idea of what you want to change in your life?

Your job, home, relationship? Not as big as that or just too big a task to start with?

Your happiness level? Are you happy?

If you have been looking at others lives and wondering why their lives are so different or better you now know it’s about choices. Yes it can be irritating to see someone that’s no different to you in background, schooling, intelligence etc and yet they are now way ahead of you in the life stakes.

It makes you wonder if maybe it is pure luck, if so then there’s nothing you can do about it. An easy option right there. Luck is fickle, it hits you or it doesn’t, therefore it’s pointless trying to make changes. Right?

WRONG!

Good choices, bad choices.

Why are some choices good and others considered bad? Is there such a thing as a good or bad choice?

It’s not that the choice is good or bad it’s more about the outcome. If you aren’t happy with the result of the choice then you have learnt not to make that choice again.

When we make choices deliberately then we are taking responsibility for our lives. We understand that anything that goes wrong is down to a choice we made either recently or in the past.

We aren’t blaming others or expecting other people to get us out of problems of our own making, we are taking responsibility for our choices and subsequently our own lives.

When you make a deliberate choice and then take action you are creating a pathway to the future. Along the way you will make other choices, some may need adjusting as you go, as they steer you off the path. That’s not failure, it’s a course correction to keep you heading in the right direction.

Conclusion.

Choices are an everyday part of life, many we make unconsciously.

The rest you:

Either opt out of and don’t take responsibility for your life, the direction it takes and the way it is now.

Or you take charge of your life and make choices that take your life in the direction you want it to go. So you enjoy the life you have now and eventually have the life of your dreams as you shape your future.

Choose wisely because Choices good or bad create your life every single day.

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Beyond the Comfort Zone

What is a Comfort Zone?

Collins Dictionary defines it as: If a situation or activity is out of your comfort zone, it does not make you feel secure, comfortable, or in control.

Beyond the Comfort Zone

It’s a safe place to stay inside, unlike going beyond the comfort zone. Nothing exciting happens, nothing much changes and pretty much everything is on an even keel. Sound familiar?

No new horizons to explore, no pushing the boundaries of existence. Does that sound a bit dull?

Don’t you feel the urge for change? That urge is there somewhere, otherwise you wouldn’t be looking for answers. I suspect there is a part of you, however small it is, that is getting the urge to break free. Or just to have something different in your life, maybe.

Do you go beyond the comfort zone?

A lot, a little, never?

A comfort zone can be a safe place to watch the world from but wouldn’t you rather step outside it and take part in life?

Whats that? You like where you are? Really? Then why are you here? Something has brought you here, maybe it’s the need to find something more than the safe life you have. It begins with a restlessness, discomfort, a need to see what’s out there.

Yes, the world can be scary but it is also amazing, wonderful, exciting and a good place to explore is a comfort zone?

Why leave the Comfort Zone?

WHY?

Because there is a whole world out there to explore. Do you want to see the world or even parts of it for yourself? Wouldn’t it be amazing to actually see and touch things you have only seen through a screen or in a book? Wouldn’t you like to be free?

Eventually it can feel like ties that bind or chains that hold you in place.

Maybe that is a step too far. What about having new experiences, meeting new people, moving house or changing your job?

It’s very easy to become too complacent and comfortable in your Comfort Zone. But the outside world doesn’t stand still. It continually changes and eventually can end up disrupting that safe life you thought you had.

And think about it. Do you really want your life to be exactly the same in 2 or 5 years time as it is now?

What are the benefits of leaving your Comfort Zone?

Experiencing real life.

A bit of stress and anxiety are good for us, it helps us to grow as people. It’s not good for us to remain in a comfortable bubble. insulated against the world.  If we do, when a time of change occurs, it can be hard to cope with.

New experiences are all part of growth too even though we are often afraid of failing. Obstacles and challenges raise those fears, but there is a greater sense of accomplishment when we succeed.  Taking risks is really breaking through the barrier.

Challenges and obstacles are things we face and overcome, whereas taking a risk is stepping forward, away from the comfort zone and into the unknown.

Taking risks are growth experiences. Many people avoid these due to the chance for failure but failure is also a growth opportunity.

You come to understand that the only real failure is giving up, that each failure teaches you a way Not to do something.

You also come to realise that fail means ‘First attempt in learning.’

Change is good

Life is all about change, day to day change, week to week and even year to year. What am I waffling about? Change is good. It keeps us learning and growing and stops us from stagnating.

If there are no changes then you begin to exist rather than live. Is that really what you want? Even small chan

Conclusion

Pushing at the boundaries of that Comfort zone is clearly a good thing even if it’s only occasional.

Staying within that zone is existing, not living.

Stepping out will allow you to grow as a person, gain new skills and breakthrough even more boundaries. As you realise how much you can do and achieve, those boundaries will get pushed back even further. Life will take on new colour and meaning, becoming exhilarating at times as you start to really live your life as you are meant to. You will have your freedom back and be happy.

Get the Attitude of Gratitude habit

Thank you

Attitude of Gratitude

It was World Gratitude Day the other day.

Who knew there was such a thing, not me. Thankful. Get the Attitude of Gratitude habit

BUT….

If you get the Attitude of gratitude habit and it can really change your life.

The more grateful you are, the more you have to be grateful for. It sounds corny but it’s true.

You might say: I don’t have anything to be grateful for. I don’t have a job, a nice home, any money etc.

BUT! You are alive, you may not have much but the little you do have is a reason to be grateful. You wake up in the morning, you breathe, you can think. All reasons to be grateful.

You own or have access to technology, otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this. Once you find a few reasons to be grateful, you will soon find more.

Gratitude can bring happiness. When you learn to truly appreciate what you have it brings contentment and happiness. While you are being grateful, a positive thing, you aren’t having negative thoughts to bring you down further.

Will it make a Difference?

It won’t change your life overnight! I know that’s a bit off putting but you know what they say?

“Nothing worthwhile ever comes easy.”

Is that true though? I suppose it all comes down to belief. I suspect that one could be classed as a limiting belief. If you grow up hearing that, it becomes true for you.

What is Gratitude?

I googled it and got this:

noun
“she expressed her gratitude to the committee for their support”
Similar words:
gratefulness
thankfulness

thanks

appreciation
recognition

How can it help me?

This article from the Guardian newspaper on 23rd October 2018 states:

  • Study after study has found a robust association between higher levels of gratitude and wellbeing, including protection from stress and depression, more fulfilling relationships, better sleep and greater resilience. Simple exercises that people can do on their own – such as spending two weeks writing a daily list of three things for which they are grateful – have been found to increase life satisfaction, decrease worry and improve body image, with the beneficial effects lasting for up to six months. Robert Emmons, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Davis, and a world authority on gratitude, has advocated that interventions such as this be used by therapists to help their patients.*
  • Happiness is a strong feeling of appreciation to someone or something for what the person has done to help you. The feeling or quality of being grateful.

The benefits of Gratitude:

For the individual:

  • increased happiness and positive mood
  • more satisfaction with life
  • less materialistic
  • less likely to experience burnout
  • better physical health
  • better sleep
  • less fatigue
  • lower levels of cellular inflammation
  • greater resiliency
  • encourages the development of patience, humility, and wisdom

For groups:

  • increases prosocial behaviors
  • strengthens relationships
  • may help employees’ effectiveness
  • may increase job satisfaction

I hope you enjoyed this post, if so please share.

If you have any questions, please ask. General comments also welcome.

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