The Damaging Negativity
Most of us will answer “I don’t mind” to a vast array of questions. From what we want for dinner/lunch,breakfast to suggestions of things to do and places to go and even on what to watch on TV.
At times we do think first and still say ‘I don’t mind’ because we think it’s a nicer response when asked a question.
Rather than forcing everyone to do what we want, we instead pretend that we don’t have an opinion in order to keep everyone else happy.
Now that seems nice but can end up making you feel resentful, having to do things you really don’t want to do.
We all have the power of positive thought but we have to make a conscious effort to use it rather than responding automatically.
- Positive thinking doesn’t mean that you keep your head in the sand and ignore life’s less pleasant situations. Positive thinking just means that you approach unpleasantness in a more positive and productive way. You think the best is going to happen, not the worst.
- Positive thinking often starts with self-talk. Self-talk is the endless stream of unspoken thoughts that run through your head. These automatic thoughts can be positive or negative. Some of your self-talk comes from logic and reason. Other self-talk may arise from misconceptions that you create because of lack of information.
- If the thoughts that run through your head are mostly negative, your outlook on life is more likely pessimistic. If your thoughts are mostly positive, you’re likely an optimist — someone who practices positive thinking.
Sometimes you can’t decide what to do for best and prefer to avoid the responsibility of making the wrong choice, so you say ‘I don’t mind’, giving someone else the job of making that decision.
The trouble with this is there’s a very real chance that everyone will say they don’t mind, which then slows things down because no one wants to make a decision.
Another danger is that you end up seeming disinterested as though you really don’t care enough to give an answer. That can be annoying when someone is offering you a drink or refreshments, for example, as either you get nothing or something you don’t like.
Sometimes the other person will then give their opinion and you end up doing what they want instead. This can lead to resentment as you can feel as though you never get to do what you want.
Others can also find it irritating having to always make the decisions.
Speaking Your Mind
‘I don’t mind’ is essentially basically conflict avoidance of discussions and can make you look completely incapable of making decisions.
And the daft part is that there’s actually nothing impolite about speaking your mind and saying what you’d prefer.
Make sure you make it clear that you are open to others opinions too. Instead of ‘I don’t mind’, try: ‘I’d prefer we had the lasagne tonight but I’m open to other options’. See, that doesn’t seem so difficult, does it?
Whether you want to be more positive or stay more negative, it’s a choice you make. Use your mind to be more positive.
The Law of Attraction can Transform Your Life & Beliefs
Many of us want our lives to change, but we don’t know how to do anything about it. We assume that our lives will change of their own accord and that we will then change as a result. Then hope we will feel happier and more confident because of it.
What many don’t realise is that more often than not, this actually works the other way around.
That by acting the way we want to feel, we end up feeling that way and then our life ends up changing too! This is what we call the “law of attraction.”
How it Works
Want to be more successful? Start using the power of positive thought to make the changes you want.
Start acting like you’re already successful. Then people start treating you as more successful and they give you more opportunities. So then you become ‘luckier’.
It’s not chance or a symbol you carry, like a four leaf clover, it’s the more positive mindset, that draws those opportunities to you.
Want to be richer? Act richer. Want to do better at work? Believe you can. Want to be smarter? Act smarter.
This is closely related to what are known as ‘self-fulfilling prophecies’. These are situations where you actually change your behavior in line with your beliefs. A great example is what’s known as a ‘scotoma’ or a ‘blind spot’.
Ever lost your phone and searched for it for hours only to have a friend come up and find it in seconds? That’s a scotoma in action – you have convinced yourself that the item is lost and this belief literally prevents you from finding that item.
The same can happen in our careers or love lives. If you tell yourself you’re a failure then your unconscious mind will actually sabotage your success in those areas.
Those beliefs are or become limiting beliefs, once fixed in the subconscious, they operate to protect you.
What can you do?
To be as successful as you can be in any capacity, you need to eliminate doubt. Does that seem overly simple? It is but it’s also hard to do as we tend to self sabotage without even realising it.
For example, if you believe you are no good at your job, you might find yourself slouching, not speaking up in meetings and trying to hide from taking on additional responsibility, it’s quite normal behaviour for that belief.
But as a result of course, you will find that people don’t believe you have what it takes to get a promotion at all. If you don’t act the part, you don’t get the part.
The same thing happens in dating. If you think you’re bad looking, you won’t approach attractive members of the opposite sex because you are convinced they are out of your league. So you don’t dress to impress, thereby aiding you in this impression. You very likely avoid eye contact and give the impression of lack of confidence. All helping to make this a self fulfilling prophecy.
To break the cycle, start by changing your thoughts. You are worth the best that life has to offer, the promotion, the best dates. Tell yourself that over and over until the thought is second nature.
The start behavinging like you believe in yourself. That means dressing better, taking risks and being more assertive. You’ll find you attract more positive attention and that this can lead to better results as well as improving the way you think about yourself.
Take positive steps
Here’s a unique concept that can help you to become the best version of yourself possible:
Have a celebration!
This is about saying goodbye to old negative habits, the old version of you and welcoming the new person you have become. Make it a celebration of stepping into your new life.
Decide you are going to be the best version of yourself, walk tall, head high and look people in the eye with a smile. Maybe you will start out quaking in your shoes but within a very short time it will be a habit and your confidence will grow.
The more you check the negative thoughts and replace them with positive thoughts, the better your life will become.
Step into your future with confidence.
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